Purity of relations in the family and society
Todor A. Dimitrov
Abstract
The purity of
relations is connected to the purity of
mind and emotions. It also concerns the financial aspect of relations which is treated
in details in ancient scripts. As we understand, purity comes only with a setup
of rules. The history of humanity moves through a long list of rules and laws.
Without them the humanity disappears. Without rules the human being turns into
a wild uncontrollable animal. Even the animals are driven by the rules of their
societies. A human being without our commonly accepted human laws has a big gap
instead of self-control, has not a developed psychic mechanism and is much
worse than a wild predator. It is alarming to see that many people today are
tended to reject many rules and laws that are the foundation of every human
society. Such people usually become criminals or sociopaths.
The purity of
relations always starts in the family. Along with our genetical code, it is
very important what the emotional and mind intelligences of our parents are,
that conduct their behavior and their style of home education for us. It also
includes the hygiene of body and home, as well as the food selection. Depending on behavior that we see from our
parents and the attitude of the society to their behavior, we form a relevant
impression about this behavior considering the attitude of surrounding society
which stamps a seal on our own behavior and our life further. It appears that
our destiny has been sealed by our parents (genetically and psychologically)
and in some cases it comes to be a subject of serious treatment.
Summary
Relations in
the family
The family is
the smallest social cell. Here starts the primary social life. That is why it
is important for every human society to develop strong package of laws that
protects all family members and the family as a unit.
We can classify
the family relations in 4+ levels: relations between parents, relations between
parents and children, relation between children, and relations between family
members and other relatives which can be classified in much more levels of
relations, depending on age, sex and relative line.
First let we
analyze the purity that comes from the personal hygiene of every member. It concerns body and food purity. In part II
we understood that is necessary to keep the parts of our body cleansed and that
is important to know which food must be thermally prepared. Not only meat and
fish but some vegetables also need to be processed thermally like potato and
eggplant. Also, the hygiene is different between the man and woman right
because of the sex difference considering their genital function. The physiological
processes between both sexes are different too, considering the hormone
consistency. The hormones determine many processes in the body for which they also
called mediators.
Because of the
female ovulation cycle, the female body must endure blood streaming at every 28
days of its life (a day and half less than the moon cycle). During this period,
hormones’ consistency changes which reflects to the emotions and mood in women,
elevating their frustration [1]. This is a reason for which all other members
of the family must be careful and tolerant to the woman. Normally, we must
respect women for their main function – the birth of a new life. This should be
enough for respect and tolerance.
Let us see what
the medical thesis about this period is, also considering sexual activities. Many
women endure headaches called menstrual migraine during the first 2 days,
connected to a mechanism of estrogen withdrawal [2]. The menstrual blood plasma
contains high concentrations of some cytokines (IL-6, IL-1β, and CXCL8), whereas other cytokines (IL-2, IL-12p70, XCL1) mark low
levels [3]. After extensive analysis of these data, we can find that women are
very fragile in this period and that it is possible for them to unlock some autoimmune diseases,
disorders in CNS, colon disorder, asthma, along with symptoms of fever, high temperature
and common inflammation. The analysis confirms the increased possibility of
menstrual migraine. With the practicing of sexual intercourse during this
period women increasingly develop endometriosis [4] and sexually transmitted
diseases (STD) [5][6]. The reason for developing STD in wide range of variety
is the temporary lack of protecting flora in female genitals. The normal
genital flora has low-diversity content, dominated by bacteria from genus
Lactobacillus [7]. According to research, published in 2021 [7], women with
decreased risk of bacterial vaginosis (BV) and microbiota instability, have
normal content of estrogen, use contraception, have circumcised male partner, do
not change their partner, and use antibiotics.
Men do not have
such problems with the hygiene but there is a difference considering the
resident microbiome and susceptibility to STD between circumcised and non-circumcised
men, as it is reported in the cited research, considering female health [7]. Inflammatory
prostatitis is found to be caused by bacteria species (in cases with BV in the
female partner) and may cause male infertility, as well as BV back to women
[8].
As we see, in a
family both parents must have certain culture in their intimate relation, to
keep certain purity in their intimate behavior not only because of their
physical and psychological health, but because it becomes a part of the home
education for their children. The parents must have a separate room in their
family lodging.
From the cited
ancient sources in previous part of this research these kinds of relations are described
only in Torah for which will be represented here by a few citations:
“…Do not commit
adultery…” [Shemot (Exodus) 20:12];
“…Do not desire
the woman of your fellowman (neighbor)…” [Shemot (Exodus) 20:13];
“If he (a man)
takes another wife, he should not treat her (considering the first wife but also
applies to the second) like a harlot and a sinner” [Shemot (Exodus) 21:10];
“And if a man
opens a virgin who is not engaged, and he lie with her, he must immediately take
her as his wife” [Shemot (Exodus) 22:15];
“And woman who
lies with a man and they have an intercourse, both of them should bath in water
and they will be unclean till the evening” [Vaykra (Leviticus) 15:18];
“And a woman
who has blood streaming, will have streaming from her flesh seven days, should be
separated, and everyone who touches her, will be unclean till the evening”
[Vaykra (Leviticus) 15:19];
“And if a man lies
with her, her impurity will be on him and he will be unclean seven days, and
every bed that he lies on, will be unclean” [Vaykra (Leviticus) 15:24];
“And a man who
lies with a woman with streaming and uncover her nakedness, … they should be
cut off from between their people” [Vaykra (Leviticus) 20:18].
From these
verses we understand that in the Hebrew ancient culture there is high morality
and certain high purity.
Let us explore
another aspects (like marriage and adultery) of relations between a man and a
woman in the ancient sources. King Hammurabi had been Babylonian king, who had
reigned in the years of 1795 – 1750 BCE and had become famous with his code of
laws (citations are written in modern English) [12]:
“128. If a man
takes a woman for a wife, but have no intercourse with her, this woman is no
wife to him.
129. If a man’s
wife be surprised (to have intercourse) with another man, both shall be tied
and thrown into the water, but the husband may pardon his wife and the king his
slaves.
130. If a man
violates a wife (betrothed or a child-wife) of another man, who has never known
a man, and still lives in her father’s house, and sleep with her and be
surprised, this man shall be put to …, but the wife is blameless.
132. If the
“finger is pointed” at a man’s wife about another man, but she is not caught
sleeping with the other man, she shall jump into the river for her husband.
134. If anyone
be captured in war and there is no sustenance in his house, if then his wife
goes to another house, this woman shall be held blameless”.
In Torah there
are written laws against the adultery with the same meaning. From the
previous citations we saw that men should not desire married women and if a man
wants to have intimate intercourse with a woman, he must take her as a wife,
but there is more:
“And a man who
commits adultery with a wife of another man, a man who commits
adultery with the wife of his fellowman, should be put to …: the adulterer and
the adulteress” [Vaykra (Leviticus) 20:10].
The same
punishment is commanded in a case of adultery when the woman is engaged to another
man, but is not married. Considering the adultery, the ancient laws in the
Middle east and Egypt have no mercy for it is impure to desecrate the bound
between husband and wife. According to the spiritual and physical definition of
the bond of marriage, both man and woman are one flesh:
“Therefore, the
man will leave his father and his mother, and will bind to his woman, and they
will become one flesh” [Torah, In the Beginning (Genesis) 2:24].
In the first
book “In the Beginning”, called “Genesis”, we can find description of a very
difficult situation that happened with Joseph in the land of Egypt, that
concerns the adultery:
“And Joseph
went down to the land of Mitsraim, and was bought by Potiphar, an officer of
Pharo, a captain of the guards, a man mitsri…” [In the Beginning (Genesis)
39:1];
“And after he
(Potiphar) appointed him to be a steward of his house and over everything which
was his property, and Lord blessed the mitsri’s home because of Joseph…” [In
the Beginning (Genesis) 39:5];
“And it was so,
that after these things the wife of his master glanced at Joseph (lit. “set her
eye on him”) and said: ‘Lie with me!’
And he refused,
and he told the wife of his master: ‘Behold, my master does not know what is
going on with me at home and everything that he has, he gave in my hands
There is no
bigger in this house than me and there is nothing that has been kept from me
except you, being his wife. And how could I do such a big evil, and transgress
toward God ?!” [In the Beginning (Genesis) 39:7-9].
There is simple
physiological and emotional explanation for the adultery – if a man and a woman
are married, they share their body fluids, their emotions, thoughts,
bio-currents, i.e., their bodies and souls. That is why it is written “and they
will become one flesh” [Torah, In the Beginning (Genesis) 2:24]. If a third
person has an intercourse with one of them, it appears that each of the couple
shares her/his soul and body with the third person which is equal to a triple
intercourse, i.e., each person from the couple has an intercourse with the
third person. Is it disgusting enough?
In the Hitties’
code we find next laws about the relations between men and women [11]:
“26a. If a woman refuses (divorces) a man the man
should give to her …, and the woman shall take a wage for her seed (the number
of her children). But the man shall take the land and her children.
26b. But if a
man divorces a woman … he shall sell her. Whoever buys her, shall pay him 12
shekels of silver.
29. If a
daughter has been betrothed to a man, and he pays a bride price for her, but
afterwards the father and mother contest the agreement, they may separate her
from the man, but they shall restore the bride price double.
30. But if
before the man has taken the daughter (sexually), he refuses her, he shall
forfeit the bride price which he has paid”.
The
relationship between parents and children also should be clean from improper
emotions and wishes. Parents and children should feel love to each other on a
certain level, preventing any kind of incest, as well as aggression and mental
mocking. The incest between family members or close relatives is forbidden in
Torah. According to many scientific investigations, the incest leads to reduced
fitness (observed in some nations during inbreeding periods), unwanted
mutations and diseases like schizophrenia [9, 10]. This could not bring us to
any purity.
The attitude of
children to parents should be marked with respect and humbleness, and the
attitude of parents to children should be more precisely arranged with certain
strictness and patient teaching that requires abilities from their children
(like keeping proper language and behavior, self-control, responsibility for
their personal things, home cleaning), avoiding improper humiliation. In Torah
is forbidden for a child to smite its parent:
“And who smites
his father or his mother, will be put to…” [Shemot /Exodus 21:15].
There is such a
text in the Code of Hammurabi [12]:
“195. If a son
strikes his father, his hands should be …”.
Parents should
also teach their children of proper behavior to each other – respect,
tolerance, sharing, communication, etc. Being a parent or a teacher is not easy
at all and everyone who wants to be a parent should be prepared mentally and
emotionally. Today, many young couples need special educational course for
parents.
Relations in
society
Today, young
mothers meet a difficult situation considering the unescapable conflict between
their professional jobs and motherhood. In some countries the children start
their social life very early – in the children garden. The social order for
rising a child should provide good upbringing and proper home education for
children because they should build a basis for a psychological structure with
self-control and sense for goodness, should start to develop intelligences of
mind, emotions, and
consciousness. Sometimes it is a long hard work. Today the presence of a
well-educated psychologist (or more than one) in the school is a necessity. This
person should help every pupil to develop a complete psychological structure
but not just define difficult and dangerous parents or pupils for further judicial
and medical treatment. Such a person should be provided with a certain level of
protection by the country law. We should keep the human rights of children but
also should keep the human rights of all society members, trying to prevent
people from crimes that threaten lives physically or mentally, and every nation
should have code of laws for it.
Societies’
relations are based on hierarchy. Every person who takes some level in the social
hierarchy has the responsibility and obligation to keep the law and the human
rights, according to the law, as well as morality, for keeping his purity and
for giving an example to the others. Every person needs to know his rights and
obligations in the way of studying the country law and the law of ethics.
The next
division in societies is based on sex. We cannot want from women to be men, for
it is ridiculous and catastrophic, considering their mentality and physiology.
That is why women could take appropriate and comfortable positions in
education, sciences, social administration, medicine, finances, office
management, trade, textile industry, food processing industry, agriculture etc.
There are plenty of professional positions for women, so there is no way for
them to be insulted by any kind of discrimination. The modern extreme emancipation
does not lead to any normality.
Despite of
those so many levels of relations in the society, today there is something
common between all members of a society – keeping of equal human rights. In Torah
for first time in the history we see that all members in a society of a nation
are called and treated like “brothers”, which we can define as a basis of the human
rights, excluding the slavery, which in the Hebrew ancient society has the
mildest possible form:
“Do not revenge
and do not keep hatred toward the children of your nation; and love your
fellowman like yourself!” [Vaykra (Leviticus) 19:18];
“Do not drop a gossip among your
acquaintances; do not stand on the blood of your fellowman (in the meaning of “not
require” or “insist”)!” [Vaykra (Leviticus) 19:16];
“And if your brother becomes poor
and his hand is low before you, you shall uphold him: newcomer (foreign settler
who has been accepted in this society) or native, and he shall live with you!
And do not take an interest from him
and you shall be afraid from your God, and let your brother live with you!
And your money shall not give him
with an interest and upon an interest shall not give him your food!” [Vaykra (Leviticus)
25:35-37];
“And Moses told the children of Gad
and the children of Ruven: ‘Your brothers will go to a war, and will you sit
here?” [Bamidbar (Numbers) 32:6];
“And I commanded your Judges,
saying: ‘Listen among your brothers and judge fairly between the man, his
brother, and the newcomer!’” [Dvarim (Deuteronomy) 1:16];
“Do not
maltreat the hired worker – the poor and the needy, from your brothers or from
your newcomers, who are on your land in your gates!” [Dvarim (Deuteronomy)
24:14].
The word in Hebrew for a fellowman
has a wide range of meanings: a neighbor, friend, sibling, and everyone from
our surrounding environment like our colleagues as well.
Let us explain with the words of the
Bible the essence of the crime in the case of depriving someone of his own
life, i.e., in the case of murder:
“And surely your blood of your souls I will require. From the hand of
every beast I will require it and from the hand of the man, from the hand of
the brother of every man I will require the soul of Adam … who sheds human
blood, by a man his blood to be shed, because by His own image God made the
man!” [Genesis, 9:5,6].
It means that every human
being has parts, given by Lord, our God, Himself, by His own image. The
human soul is also given by Lord, which is different from the soul of the body,
which is represented by the blood in the body of all blood-carrying types of
animals, and in the human body too. The soul of body in Torah is called “Nefesh”,
widely used in the text. The specific human soul, given by God, is called “Neshama”
(represented by the word “nishmat” - breath) because, according to the text, it
has been set in the first human being Adam by inbreathing:
“And the Lord God formed
the man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath
of life, and the man became a living soul” [Torah, “In the Beginning”
(Genesis), 2:7].
This way, it appears that
the human being is granted with two gifts by God – body and Soul. The
classification of the human being by the science does not contradict to this
thesis: the contemporary human being is evolved more than any other creature on
Earth – intellectually, emotionally, and biologically. It means that we are
very precious for we are given with the best gifts, i.e., we are beloved
favorite beings to God, to the power that creates everything. It means also
that every crime against a human being is a crime against God, especially the
murder. The murder is a crime against the evolution and against the existing of
the human civilization.
The theme about the brotherhood in
Torah continues with the special status of the family of Levi, that has been
given with the responsibility of carrying the palace of meeting (and its
supplements) with God, and with the responsibility of the service to God with
all adjacent obligations:
“At that time Lord separated the
tribe of Levi to bear the ark of the Covenant of God, to stand before Lord, to
serve Him, and to bless in His name till this day (considering the day of
writing this text, but their service is ordered to continue for eternity:
Dvarim (Deuteronomy) 18:5).
Therefore, Levi did not have any
portion and inheritance with his brothers. Lord is his inheritance, as Lord
your God talk to him” [Torah, Dvarim (Deuteronomy) 10:8,9];
“Because, him chose Lord, your God,
from all tribes, to stay, to rule in the name of God – he and his sons for ever”
[Dvarim (Deuteronomy) 18:5];
“And he should rule in the name of
Lord, his God, as all his brothers from Levi, staying there before Lord”
[Dvarim (Deuteronomy) 18:7];
“And wrote Moses this Torah, and he
gave it to the priests – sons of Levi, bearing the ark of the Covenant of Lord
– and to all the Elders of Israel” [Dvarim (Deuteronomy) 31:9].
The future king should be chosen
among the “brothers” of all the twelve families:
“You should set upon you a king, who
is chosen by Lord, your God; among your brothers you should set upon you a king,
you should not bring to you a foreigner who is not your brother” [Dvarim (Deuteronomy)
17:15].
There are laws for theft and damages:
“You should not see your brother’s
ox or his lamb, that is driven away, and pass by; for sure you should take them
back to your brother!
And if your brother is not near you,
or you do not know him, you should take it home to you, and it shall be
with you until your brother seeks for it, and you should turn it back to him!
… And you shall do so with every
loss of your brother, that is lost by him, that you found: you cannot pass it
by!” [Dvarim (Deuteronomy) 17:1-3];
“If the theft be found in his hand
(of the thief), whether
it be ox, or ass, or sheep, he shall pay double;
If a
man causes a field or vineyard to be consumed, and he sends his grazing animal
to another field, of the best of his own field, and of the best of his own
vineyard shall he pay;
If fire
comes out and finds thorns, and consumes pile of grain, or non-harvested grain,
or field, the kindler shall pay to the kindled (owner)” [Shemot (Exodus) 22: 3-5].
As we
understand from these very few citations from Torah, in the ancient Israeli
code of laws are examined all kinds of relations in the ancient society: moral,
political, juridical, and financial. All those 613 commandments are gathered in
one Code collection, called Torah, consisted of 5 books, written by Moses.
In the Code of
Hammurabi we will find even laws for professionals: physicians, surgeons,
barbers, builders, shepherds etc. This Code is also accessible publicly.
In the Hitties’
code there is also evidence for high level of judgement [11]:
“45. If anyone
finds implements and gives them back to the owner, he (the owner) will reward
him. But if (the finder) does not give them (back), he shall be considered a
thief;
If anyone finds
implements or an ox, a sheep, a horse, (or) an ass, he shall drive it back to
its owner, and (the owner) will lead it away. But if he cannot find its owner,
he shall secure witnesses. Afterwards (when) its owner finds it, he shall carry
off in full what was lost. But if he does not secure witnesses, and afterwards
its owner finds it (in his possession), he shall be considered a thief: he
shall make threefold compensation;
105. If anyone
sets fire to a field, and (the fire) catches a fruit-bearing vineyard, if a
vine, an apple tree, a pear tree, or a plum tree burns, he shall pay 6 shekels
of silver for each tree. He shall replant the planting. And he shall look to
his house for it. If it is a slave, he shall pay 3 shekels of silver (for each
tree)”.
Purity and speech
We must keep
pure our language in the family and society from bad words and especially from
curses – cynical or other. The bad language is just a big evil and can never
fix up the problems in a society. We need to differentiate the bad language
from the constructive critics. The constructive critics should be based on the
truth and the hypocritical sophistry has nothing to do with it. The constructive
critics is a thesis, based on a sequence of truly proven facts, situations,
acts of behavior, speech, and documental submissions. There is no place for any
fantasy. We can train our fantasy in the arts, creative design, dreams,
fairytales etc., but never in the critics, judgement, or advocacy.
Purity and Love
Is there possible any co-existence
between purity and love? Not everybody can love and even if somebody can, the
human love very often disappears, especially when it has been mostly physical, empty,
or unshared. On physical level the co-existence between purity and love is
possible only in certain aspects, where any pervert habit or wish is absent.
There is such a term like “sexual culture” and the purity is dependent on it. If
the love concerns intimate relations, purity cannot exist on any other level,
if the sexual culture is not suitable with the purity in physical aspect,
further followed by the emotional, intellectual, and moral levels.
Love always bears transformation
through the years, and the remnants after the hot steam of human love appeared
to be only the real precious human values: trust, respect, understanding,
appreciation, and dedication. The real love between two people, that endure even
more than a lifetime, is based on these 5 values (qualities if you like). But
to gain purity, we need another two qualities: physical purity and morality.
Otherwise, those 5 qualities will have poor manifestation in both partners –
they will be particular but still could persist.
There is also a noble kind of love,
that does not need anything for its existing. The nature of such love is based
on constant appreciation and admiration of valuable qualities, found in an
existing living object. Such love (in persons with normally developed psychic
structure) is not egocentric, she does not hurt anyone, she does not need even
to be seen but everyone can see her. Such nobility forms another, higher layer
of the human soul, that cannot bear any arrogance in the host.
Conclusion
In the family
begins the primary social life. The relations in the family could be classified
in 4 basic levels which could be multiplied with the number of sex, with age,
and with a relative line. Family is the basic cell of the human society and it
should be protected against any form of desecration.
The basic
purity is represented by the hygiene and is connected to the body, food and to
the habitation place.
The woman has a
special place in the family and society, and it cannot be changed. Her anatomy,
physiology and psychology must be protected by the law, science and medicine.
Young parents
must be supported and educated because not everyone is ready to become a parent
- emotionally and intellectually. This could be fixed by the law too.
The future of
the human civilization depends on the morality and it cannot be avoided no
matter what your wish is. Every level, relation, and quality of it should be
reviewed, should be put into discussion, and examined with constructive
scientific, historical, medical, and juridical critics, and should be defined
officially before the society, and should be widely taught, including every
level of the feeling of love too.
The purity in
every society depends on 3 (three) factors:
-
Relevant
jurisdiction for every kind of crime including the moral crime: the law should
show no mercy to people who have no mercy, including psychopaths and radical
fanatics;
-
Standard
for individual behavior, based on official code in the society;
-
Purity
of speech.
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